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Resistence to "empowerment"

Updated: May 26, 2020


Nothing is either good or bad but timing makes it so.

All the joys that genuine runners know about running is true. All the quotes about mindset and personal accountability are true. All the ways trainers and coaches attempt to inspire, motivate and drive to success has power potential. It’s a matter of timing though whether it’s good to hear or has any acutal potentail to empower.

In my life I’ve seen and heard encouraging words said strongly or gently meant to empower and depending on the time I received it three different things have happened.

  1. It resonated and moved me to effective action immediately 

  2. It resonated. I was ready to hear it, but not ready to act on it.

  3. I was not ready to hear it and another set of things happened.

A. It bounced off neutrally/ probably forgot it/ possibly didn’t apply to me B. I heard it deeply, knew it applied to me and it turned to shame C. I heard it, felt pressured to act to comply to not be weak or wrong and spiraled into failure and a deeper feeling of weakness and shame having reacted solely to pressure and not able to hear my heart guiding me one way or another.



I love positive, empowering messages, except when it came to running.

Whenever running was the subject, words designed to empower or inspire would instead start flooding me with fear.


Examples of what was said and what I heard:

Starting point- the beginning of torture

Empower- weaponize against myself

Inspire/Mindset shift- brainwash

Yet- inescapable doom

Set free- blow out into the vaccum of space


In general all I could hear was, "let me give you all the tools just so you can suffer while I superimpose my sense of a positive experience on you."


Negative? Well, yes, but I wasn't negative. Running and it's enforcers were negative and I was caught in their cross hairs and the negative onslaught they unleashed on me! The drama is a little funny when you're not in the space of your fears, and the victimhood is crystal clear, but it's a very real and overwhelming wave that crashes down on you when you're in the space of your fears while outside forces continue to plow ahead because "this is easy! It's just <fill in the blank>..." The non-exisitent space for your reality is suffocating and the lack of oxygen (possibly literally) is damaging.



Words and resources of empowerment are not actually empowering until someone has first (step 1) created a safe space to start moving through their fears, (step 2) feels ownership and command of their journey and then is ready for guides and resources to fuel that journey at their already empowered discretion.


Think of any anology that has steps. If you do step 3 before step 1 you may ruin whatever you're making and have to start over again...over and over again and again.


Don’t shame yourself if you’re simply not ready to hear something. Have compassion with yourself. It’s just not where you are. Figure out where you are. Find yourself. The journey is much easier if you have your heart and spirit with you. Ropes may be thrown to you directly by friends or indirectly from impersonal social media and online sources. Take them if they resonate and are right for you. If they stress you out observe that. It may just be a moment of discomfort and then you break through something and you’re ready to use it. It may not be helpful for you for some time down the road. It may not apply to you at all.  Heart. Intuition. Grace. Listening. Being present. Loving yourself- all of yourself. These are your first guides from start to finish. They will show you additional guides that serve you best along your journey. And to the friends offering “rescue”, listen to your friends you think are in need. Is what you want to share what they really need to hear now? Would something else be more helpful first? Or possibly it’s only your listening ear that’s needed.



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